Sunday, May 15, 2011

How could you (do this) (to me)?

This phrase popped into my consciousness this morning, perhaps in relation to something I was reading while browsing the web.

I distinctly recall my mother using these phrases many times, with raised eyebrows and a big frown.  As I look back at it now, she used this as a blatant attempt to control me.  Even now, saying the words in my head, I feel shame, as though some wrong has been done to someone, somewhere, and it's all my fault!

I'm tapping, I'm tapping

EB: Mom, how could you (do this) (to me)?
SE: I was just a child
UE: with no defenses
UN: against your disapproval
CH: So this is how you meant me to feel?
CB: Shamed
UA: Confused
TH: Angry

EB:  I know better now
SE:  You were operating from fear
UE:  just like you wanted me to be
UN: you can't make me feel that way any more
CH:  I am happy with who I am
CB:  calm and safe
UA:  I know who I am
TH:  I am perfect with all my imperfections

Namaste,
Sue